Maybe, you were right.


You said that there is nothing ... eternal.

I denied. I denied with all my heart, all i've got, all my efforts. I tried to deny it. Since then, every night, every day, I have been trying hard, even harder to prove you were wrong. I wanted to prove that what you said is just an excuse of yours. An excuse that makes it easier for you to do what you've done. silly excuse! ha. I was angry. got mad. I was going crazy.

And then maybe I got too crazy to deny what I evidenced myself. Maybe, it was like something that is so much for me to take. I wasn't able to take it, so I denied.

Funny thing is, been there twice, still, it is hard for me to take. It is harder for me to take when it is easier for you to say. Sometimes it is so natural that no one even gives a shit. Yeah, right. I am a fool alone. And so they say only fools rush in. I rushed, crushed.

Now I feel like I am back at the point where I was before. But the difference is, that now I can't move on anymore. Not even a single step.